Broadcasting 101

Those of you who watch Thursday night football might be happy to know that ESPN has added a new broad ...

(pause for sip of coffee)

... caster to its lineup.

Her name is Jenn Brown, and she'll replace Erin Andrews as the sideline bimbo.

OK, that's not fair to Brown (and probably not to Andrews, either). I'm not familiar with Brown's work, and she could very well end up producing reportage that's as impressive as her visage.

It's just that ... as easy as some of these girls are on the eyes, it's just as easy to be a bit cynical and prejudiced about their ability to, you know, actually know a little something about what's unfolding on the field.

The notion of sideline reporting has become kind of a joke anyway, because coaches very rarely say anything of substance when they're interviewed immediately before the opening kickoff, or at halftime as they're trying to get off or on the field.

But you can almost always get a good read on whether these sideline reporters actually know what they're doing by listening to their questions immediately after the end of the second quarter.

(Before we go any further, it should be noted that some male broadcasters are known to have knuckle-dragging moments as well. See: Lou Holtz, Lee Corso, Mark May.)

I'll never forget, in 2003, watching CBS vixen Jill Arrington interview Tennessee's Phillip Fulmer in The Swamp, moments after the Vols had closed the first half by scoring a touchdown on a miraculous heave from Casey Clausen to James Banks.

Arrington should've recognized this as a gift and simply asked Fulmer: "Wow, how about that play?"

Anything relating to the play would've sufficed.

Instead, my jaw hit the floor when Arrington asked something totally unrelated to the play.

Can't remember it precisely, but pretty sure it was something like:

"Coach, talk about your running game."

I never had huge problems with Andrews, but I also wasn't a big fan. She seemed to work hard, but she never created the impression that she actually knew football. Most of her sideline "insight" consisted of pre-packaged, human-interest snippets that were originally unearthed by the beat guys who covered the teams on a daily basis. And also her little flirting act with "Herbie" and the guys up in the booth.

And I'm sorry, but the fact that Andrews -- a former dance-team member at Florida -- actually returned to her alma mater in recent years to lead pep rallies didn't exactly burnish her image as a professional, either.

I know I sound like a stodgy curmudgeon here, but I'm not asking for Dan Rather on the sidelines.

It'd just be nice to have some brains to go with the broad ... casters.

Speaking of broadcasting lineups, The Birmingham News has ESPN's cast of characters for the 2010 football season here.

Some of you who watch the ACC's noon, ahem, 12:30 games on ESPNU might recognize the color analyst. It's David Pollack, last seen at Death Valley terrorizing Clemson's backfield in the 2003 opener.


Pollack has lost a ton of weight, but he's still very outgoing and unafraid to speak his mind.

I was around him quite a bit during his career at Georgia, having covered the Bulldogs for The Augusta Chronicle.

He was at the recent ACC media gathering in Greensboro, N.C., and I introduced myself.

Not long into the conversation, I brought up my most memorable encounter with him.

Me: "Hey, I remember when you yelled at me because you didn't like a question I was asking one of your teammates."

Him: "Well, it must not have been a very good question."

Me: "Um ... yeah, you're probably right."

Good to see Ron Franklin's name on the ESPN docket. How in the world that blowhard Mike Patrick still gets better time slots than Franklin is beyond me.

Guess this is the old-schooler coming out in me again, but Franklin is and always will be the voice of Saturday night football.

It just doesn't feel right, watching some riveting SEC game, without listening to Franklin's soothing play-by-play:

"Garrison Hearst up the middle ... Has five ... Has ten ... First down Georgia inside Auburn's 20."

Here's a story on the questions facing North Carolina (and not just the NCAA questions), and writer J.P. Giglio produces some telling numbers:

Since a 4-8 debut under Davis in 2007, UNC has gone 13-10 against Bowl Subdivision opponents.

Against teams that finished the season with a winning record, Davis is 11-6 but 2-4 against teams that finished with a losing record.

New East Carolina coach Ruffin McNeill says he'll gamble on offense and defense.

Looks like there'll be more, uh, ambience added to the game-day atmosphere at Williams-Brice Stadium:

Waffle House is looking to put a restaurant near the Gamecocks' stadium.

Nothing says college football like Waffle House, Bojangle's and gas stations...

Mistuh Barnhart rates the quarterbacks in the ACC's Coastal Division and puts Joshua Nesbitt atop the heap.

Hard to disagree after what Nesbitt did last year. If I were the kid, I'd be a little miffed that CP7 is getting all the preseason love.

In the Independent-Mail, Marquan Jones says he' hasn't heard the skepticism facing Clemson's receivers.

After quarterback Kyle Parker announced his return for 2010 two weeks ago, the title of “biggest question mark on the roster” shifted squarely to the receiving corps, considering its leading returnee, Xavier Dye, had 14 receptions for 236 yards and three touchdowns last season.

Ask Jones about the buzz, however, and he sounds surprised.

“I haven’t heard that,” he says earnestly.

Speaking of Christian Ponder, here's a good story by Rivals detailing FSU's quarterback woes over the years.

Xavier Lee ... Drew Weatherford ... Wyatt Sexton ... Fabian Walker ... Adrian McPherson ... Chris Rix ... yikes!



LW