Whenever I hear someone complain about the media scrutiny of our college sports programs in South Carolina, I chuckle.
It's not necessarily the tamest I've seen. But the pressure cooker is nowhere near as stifling as some other locales.
Such as Alabama.
The over-the-top obsession with college football in that state makes the Palmetto State's interest in college football appear almost casual by comparison.
When you add to the mix regular occurrences of assorted controversies and scandals at the state's two flagship institutions, which also happen to be neck-strangling rivals, you get some intense media coverage.
I remember talking with Dabo Swinney about this topic a couple of years ago, back when he was an assistant. He was born in Alabama, played there and coached there. And he's been here a good while. So he has as good a grasp as anyone of the contrasts between here and there.
"People think it's bad here, but it's nothing compared to Alabama," he said in the summer of 2008, as the Tigers were preparing for their season opener against the Crimson Tide. "It's just crazy over there."
That brings us to one of the prime sources of said craziness, columnist/radio host Paul Finebaum. I've talked about Finebaum here before, about how he can be a real horse's-behind, but also about how much weight and influence he has in that state. You simply do not want to be on this guy's bad side, because he can apply the skewers as surgically and as painfully as anyone.
In Finebaum's latest column, the Big Ten goes under the knife. And F-Bomb, as he's not-so-affectionately known in Bammer, rips open some old wounds and twists the knife about 32 times.
Delany's Buckeyes were punked by Florida in the BCS title game, 41-14. A couple of months later, in 2007, the Gators beat the Buckeyes for the NCAA basketball title. A double shot of castor oil for Delany.
It was also about this time that Delany lost his manhood to Slive and the SEC commissioner simply won't give it back. Delany went from the major domo of college sports to second dog on the sled team. And as the saying goes, if you're not the lead dog, the view never changes.
This was also when Delany jumped the shark. Instead of taking his ball and whimpering all the way back home, he opened his yap about the SEC. Slive responded with such a hard shot across the chops that Delany's jaw has been wired shut ever since.
Following the beat down by the Gators, Delany sent out an email, defending the talent pool in the Midwest and taking a shot at the academic standards of the SEC.
Slive didn't scream or holler. He simply issued a statement, saying: "I can appreciate why the Big Ten wants to compare itself to the Southeastern Conference." Bada-bing!
And then...
In a huff, the Big Ten started its own television network. Would the SEC follow suit?
Instead of the risky endeavor, the SEC did its due diligence and then cut separate 15-year, multi-billion deals with CBS and ESPN. And with precision timing, the historic deal was signed two months before Wall Street crashed in 2008.
Ohio State remains on the national radar screen. However, the Big Ten's other top gun, Michigan, has become a pathetic joke, going 8-16 (3-13 in the league) in the last two years. So Delany and Big Ten zealots are forced to wrap their arms around Ohio State in this losing national debate against the SEC.
Can anyone guess the last time Ohio State beat an SEC opponent in a bowl game? Well, keep looking, since the all-time record for the Buckeyes is 0-9.
And then...
But you hear fans of the Big Ten -- particularly those in Columbus -- talk like they invented football up at the Horseshoe. Well, think again.
And to make matters worse, after Delany opened his trap again a few months ago about expansion, the SEC kept quiet (and went to work on a response). Finally, the other day, Slive spoke softly but carried a big stick. In other words, he seemed to be saying, "Delany, go ahead and fire the first shot. We'll blow you back to the Stone Age."
So while Delany fiddles up there in his cushy office in Chicago, the Big Ten burns. Down in Birmingham, Slive is smiling. Delany makes a move and Slive will make a move that's even better.
In a way, it's really sad. The once proud Big Ten has been emasculated by the SEC. And its only hope of deliverance is to pick up Notre Dame on the discount rack at Walmart. Or, if that fails again, cobble Rutgers, Pittsburgh, Nebraska and Missouri and try to sneak out in the express lane.
It doesn't appear the SEC really wants to expand. But Slive knows one thing for sure. Anything Jim Delany can do, he knows the SEC can do better. That's been proven off the field in recent years. It's also been demonstrated on the field.
The Big Ten had its day in the sun. And it was glorious. But it's over. And the boys up there might as well get used to playing second fiddle to the SEC.
I'm fully aware there aren't many SEC fans in these parts. And yeah, the whole "SEC speed" hyperventilation has gotten more than a little tired.
But in a territorial, primal sort of way, the latest bomb from F-Bomb was pretty cool, no?
On to a few Friday links...
Sticking to Alabama columnists -- and sticking to expansion -- this piece is mostly dopey. But the guy does hit on something when he wonders why the SEC doesn't just stand pat, secure in the knowledge that it has curb-stomped the Big Ten when it's mattered most.
Does anyone really believe that the addition of a not-what-it-was Notre Dame, a pair of good, but not elite, Big 12 schools like Nebraska and Missouri, or a couple of fair-to-middlin’ Big East programs like Rutgers and Pitt will make the Big Ten the predominant conference in the country?
"I think the people who are talking about expanding are trying to get what we have," Alabama coach Nick Saban said Tuesday. "We have two divisions now and a great championship venue that is probably one of the best venues in college sports. I think that’s what other people are after."
Not a fun two weeks for the Beamer household. Two weeks ago, Frank Beamer suffered an injury exiting an airplane. Then this week, his wife was seriously injured after a fall at the family's lake house in Georgia.
Gritty effort last night for Clemson's baseball team. Game stories here and here.
In the Independent-Mail, a story on the women's tennis team hoping for a Sweet 16 breakthrough.
This Omaha columnist dutifully traveled to Chicago for the Big Ten spring meetings, seeking groundbreaking expansion news.
He got nothing ... and didn't like it.
LW
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